Indian Weddings – Much Has Changed And Much Has Not
The Taj Group of Hotels, recently unveiled b The Taj Wedding Barometerb b a survey aimed at understanding the attitude, beliefs, trends and tastes of Indians towards the concept of marriage. The survey commissioned to the research agency IPSOS covered pan-India respondents and encompasses all the phases of the Indian wedding- the proposal, pre-nuptials, wedding to the honeymoon, and b the whole shebangb that can be associated with the magnifique affair.
Q- How much has changed when it comes to wedding celebrations?
B Much has changed and much has not. Weddings even in the good old days were some sort of a b fashion showb where women took out their best silk saris and gold jewels, and other guests would admire them. Itb s the same today. Every family wants to build their social circle; a wedding is one way to enhance it, there is a union with another family, and it is a time to reconnect with old friends and relatives. It was the same earlier.
What has changed is the type of functions; it is not uncommon to hear of South Indian families hosting functions earlier hosted in the North only. Or North Indian families serving South Indian food specialties at pre or post wedding functions. The number of functions has increased, and so has the menu or the scale of entertainment and dC)cor. Consequently, the pressures on expenditure are more, and this causes the real stress, more than the wedding organizing bit, which is actually happy stress.
Q- Since weddings are becoming a more expensive affair do you see any change on how the expenditure is shared, or is it still the responsibility of the girlb s parents?
B If its a love marriage, approved by parents, there is a likelihood that the bride and groom may bear a part of the cost of the wedding. But whether itb s a love or arranged marriage, highly unlikely that the to-be-weds will bear the entire cost of the wedding, especially if their parents are still alive; unlike the West, in India, weddings are part of the responsibility that parents have for b settlingb their children. The trend of having a small wedding followed by a large reception is beginning to appeal to those with not-so-big budgets. In such cases, the cost of the reception might be divided between the two families.
Q- Your study talks about how a lot of wedding decisions are based on family/ community recommendations. Does it make Wedding planning less b stress freeb for those with a big social circle?
B Weddings are stressful for the parents, irrespective of whether a Wedding Planner or many relatives are helping. Most Wedding Planners claim they can manage any type of wedding.B A wedding is a very personal affair, unique to the needs of a family, the community or the couple. The b A to Zb package from a wedding planner or company may never work in India. And a wedding can NEVER be stress-free, irrespective of who is doing the arrangements; a zillion things can go wrong, which can never be anticipated. Weddings are an once-in-a-lifetime event, which everyone wants should be b perfectb , but in the end, it is the glitches that families remember after the event, and laugh over.
Q- Today, are more families interested in hiring the services of Wedding Planners?
B In the upper echelons of society, yes! But in other strata, what I see is that families might toy with the thought of hiring a professional b event managerb , but that does not actually occur. The people who get hired are specialized service providersb like caterers, decorators, photographers & videographers. And usually one family member, like the brideb s brother or uncle take on the role of b main organizerb , and he works with the other senior members of the family, and delegates to the younger ones.
What is also interesting is the b Jugaadb element in Indian weddings- families do not look at the most organized way to source or compare vendors; quite often itb s all about b pooling of resourcesb . For e.g. if a senior community members daughter is getting married, a number of his relatives, close friends or work contacts will help him in getting the best deals. Everyone looks for a good bargain, especially pre-wedding, so a lot of notes are exchanged on must-hire or must-avoid vendors, who charges how much, and what does it take to get the best deal; finally, what emerges is a highly community influenced yet personalizedB event created through a b pooling in of resourcesb .
Q- While many brides and grooms and their parents follow what has generally been followed in their family/ communities, they may have a lot of newer aspirations. What gets them starry eyed, or what propels them to think b differentlyb ?
B The Taj Wedding Barometer throws up some interesting findings which makes one re-think the preconceived notions of the young modern Indian. Today, marriage is increasingly driven by a desire for companionship and emotional support. The reason for wanting to break from tradition usually relates to what has been seen in the media and also what has been the trend among friends and family members. A lot of brides may want to do things differently, but eventually may not. To convince parents it always helps to hold another friend or relative as an example for you wanting to buck the trend. Friends have a lot of influence on things like clothes, jewelry, make-up, accessories. And sometimes food or the venue!